Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Oh I Wish I Was an Oscar Meyer Weaner

Let's discuss the pros and cons of no-longer-nursing, since I am in the throes of weaning and all. We can leave out all the pros of nursing. Those are a given.

Pro's of No-Longer-Nursing
-My body is 100% mine
-Hard Drugs
-No more excuses for getting up at 4 in the morning
-Bovine references be gone
-Braless by night, shapely padded bra by day
-Bites and bruises in the most tender of areas avoided

Con's of No-Longer-Nursing
-Boobies are MIA
-Fasting (Don't judge me)
-Sneaking out of boring meetings is no longer excusable

Weighing the pros and cons, it's definitely time to stop. Sorry Tess. Hope you enjoyed your morning sucky suck. That was your last. Good thing you are loving milk. Real milk. From a cow. As in, a real cow. That moos.

It was fun while it lasted. But all good things must come to end. Our booby fun ends here.
xx

3 comments:

Amy said...

This was hilarious. And I'm impressed that you actually typed this out on a blog that your extended family reads. I might think these things, but knowing that my grandma reads my blog is definitely censuring!

jessica said...

I loved your post. I totally agree with the whole fasting thing.

Audrey said...

After being pregnant and nursing three children, I hadn't fasted in years in felt like. I really struggle with it too!