Much has been mulling around in my mind as of late; time to purge my brain of a few thoughts. At least the ones that are appropriate to share on this semi-public spot.
On Mother's Day: It just may be one of my most favorite days of the year. Allen legitimately excels on this day. He gets it. And he does such a good job of making me feel special. And involving the kids in making me feel special. All without making me feel lazy or selfish. Just deserving. I like to feel deserving. And special. And loved. He's pretty super duper.
Ryder's Mother's Day Card. Nice to know there is no lack of confidence in that boy.
On My Mother: I cannot think of any occasion where she has ever made me feel awkward. Or bad. Or small. She just gets me. And accepts me. Even if she doesn't agree with me or my choices or my actions, she always make sure to see things from my side. I have never felt judged. Just loved. That's pretty radical. And since I regularly look at Linley like she has four heads, I am pretty sure I got screwed out of that trait.
On Showering (in Public): We are getting new windows installed in the house. Which means there are no blinds up. Anywhere. My bathroom window looks directly into my neighbor's kitchen. Sunday night I asked Allen how to best approach showering. His suggestion: Tape a note on the window that reads, "Dear John: You may leave tips in the mailbox." No cash yet. And I have to admit, I am a little disappointed.
On Money: I am not suppose to be spending any in May. But J Crew has free shipping with no minimum order. And I am dying for some white skinnies. Surely there has to be a way to find an exception...
On Bedtime: This is how the children get carried to bed every night (that daddy is home). It melts my heart a little each time.
On My Children: I can honestly say that at this specific point in time I like them. I am not currently impatiently waiting for them to grow out of a certain stage, or wishing they were different little beings. I am happy right where they are. I am enjoying them. Still screaming at them regularly, but also, really just enjoying them. It feels good.
On Baseball: Ryder is one of the worst players on his team. He doesn't seem to notice or mind, but it hurts my heart a little. Mostly because it is probably my fault for not practicing with him more regularly, but also because there will come a time when he does notice. At what point do you give up and move on to something new? Or do you just keep practicing in hopes it all clicks? All I want is for each of my children to be involved in something that they love, that keeps them active and builds confidence. Fingers crossed the swim team is more his forte.
On Music: A couple days ago Allen said that if ten years ago I heard the music I was listening to today, I would be ashamed of myself. It's true. In college I liked to think I had superior musical taste. If it was on the radio, I didn't like it. If you heard of it, I was way too cool to listen to it. I would make fun of Allen regularly for blaring Britney. Nowadays, I can sing along with every single lyric to every single Top 40 hit. So can Linley. And Tessa. I'm a total sell-out.
On Sexiness: I really need to start going regularly to the gym again. They have been remodeling my gym since December, and so I have only been able to take classes. Which was really awesome for a while. But now I am bored. The actual gym reopens in a couple weeks. Hopefully that will give me the jump start I need to get me excited for summer. And to encourage me to stop eating so much ice cream. And pretty much just dessert in general. We keep buying fruit and baking it in pies and cobblers and crisps. And topping it with even more ice cream. It's becoming pathetic and fully disgusting. And it all ends June 1st.
On Spring: It makes me happy. I like my life again. I like my house again. I like leaving my house again. Life is good in New Jersey, again.
