I Don't Drink

Because I'm good Mormon girl and all. Thus, ice cream is my alcohol. And in a few short minutes, I'll be naked wasted. I'll explain:

Last night 7pm: The Mister informs me he left his keys at work and needs me to pick him up at the train station (he takes the train into Manhattan daily)
2-5:30am: The Baby (does a 21-monther still qualify for that title??) is S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G her lungs, brain and heart out. And no amount of shh-ing, singing, swaying or Tylenol will stop the child.
6:30am: The Princess creeps into my room. Before she can mutter a word, I tell her I have only been asleep an hour and I am not ready to see her face.
6:45am: The Monkey Man enters my room asking if he can play video games "because it's Friday." I tell him no and I don't want see his face.
7:20am: The Mister snuggles up next to me and promptly exclaims, "you stink." I punch him in the gut and tell him I really don't want to see his face.

7:25-7:50: Get kids dressed and fed. Make them clean their room. Make lunches

7:51: Awaken the sleeping demon/angel baby

7:52: Everyone piles into the car

7:57: Pull into parking garage to pay for another day so The Mister's vehicle may remain idle

8:03: Drop The Mister off at the dentist

8:12-8:24: Go through drop-off line at The Monkey Man's school

8:26: Pull into driveway

8:27-8:44: Change and feed baby. Shower and dress myself. Maybe I brushed my hair???

8:51: Pick-up The Mister from the dentist

8:56: Pull into driveway

9:05: Mr. Appraiser Man arrives

9:05-9:35: Schmooze Mr. Appraiser Man

9:40: Pile back in car to drop The Mister off at the train station

9:46: Pull into driveway.

All in the pouring rain.

I don't drink. But many more mornings like this, and I may be driven to it.

(Just teasing daddy. I promise)

Too Good to Be True

We had two days with temperature floating above 60 degrees. We saw patches of green. We laughed. We loved. We frolicked. We believed.

We are again covered in white. Freezing and mourning a sight that has become all too familiar.

All hope is lost.

Our Slice of Heaven

This weekend marked our third annual trip to The Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos.

Never disappointing, it was a most welcome escape from the hell frozen over life that is our current reality.

I am not sure who has more fun....the kids or the dads. Regardless, there are ample smiles and squeals to go around, making for two go-down-in-history-as-golden days.

Even if the humans above us sounded like wild rabid animals until 2 in the morning.

Even if my children spent $20 on pay-per-view movies when I instructed them to turn on the TV and leave me alone at 6:30 in the am.

Even if I dropped my camera in the water on day one while trying to rescue my drowning Tessa.

Golden.

A Little More Cheese Please

I didn't fall asleep until after 2 last night. Then I woke up at 6. I have a major sleep issue (her name is Tessa). But that is not the point of this post.

I was at least a little relieved when I got the call that school was cancelled today. I just wanted a couple extra hours of sleep. I deserved a couple extra hours of sleep.

Instead, Linley ran into my room screaming, "Mom, there's water everywhere."

Normally, I would allow myself to slowly get out of bed and gingerly work my way to assessing the situation. Because Linley is a drama queen. And can't be trusted. But, two weeks ago the main pipe in the house burst open. No really, open. As in, two pipes, ripped completely apart from one another. While the dishwasher and clothes washer were running. Thus, gushing water everywhere. Inches of it. And, robbing me of $1200. So, I am still a little sensitive to the words "water everywhere." But that is not the point of this post either.

I ran downstairs to see my wall forming boobies.

(and, I don't dust anything higher than my line of sight, obviously. You can judge me)

And my ceiling beam sobbing brown icy tears.

Resulting in a fun game of "how-do-we-keep-Tessa-from-carrying-dirty-bowls-of-water-all-over-the-house." (The answer, lock her and the other two children in their room upstairs).

Oh, and our driveway turned into an ice skating rink overnight. Bet you wish you were cool enough to have one of those.

I realize these pictures suck, but they were taken from inside my house. Because I refuse to step foot outside of this house. Because if it goes down, I am going down with it.

And, am I suppose to shovel that ice? Because that would most certainly end in death.

Cue Radiohead: I don't belong here.