Mommy, Wow!!

Allen told me I needed to potty train Tessa. I laughed. He brought the potty down from the attic. I scoffed.

Tessa thinks the potty is a fun toy. Sometimes I let her enjoy it.

Today Tessa made a poopy and a pee pee in the potty.

Maybe daddy is right. Dangit.

Journey Through Space

Linley has been learning all about the Solar System in preschool. Every day she educates me on a different planet, astronauts and space.

Yesterday was the capstone of their learning adventure with a space walk. Which Tess and I were privileged to attend.

There was singing, and dancing and donuts. Making for another afternoon in paradise.

Mother Nature, Hear This

We are not friends. You suck.

Friday you gave us 75 degree weather. We were doing happy dances, and singing the praises of Spring.

Today, you gave us snow. And fog. And freezing temperatures. Take your meds.

Linley's quote for the day: "MOM, Winter is already back again?? But Spring only lasted one day. And we didn't even get to go to the beach."

Traumatic.

I Don't Drink

Because I'm good Mormon girl and all. Thus, ice cream is my alcohol. And in a few short minutes, I'll be naked wasted. I'll explain:

Last night 7pm: The Mister informs me he left his keys at work and needs me to pick him up at the train station (he takes the train into Manhattan daily)
2-5:30am: The Baby (does a 21-monther still qualify for that title??) is S-C-R-E-A-M-I-N-G her lungs, brain and heart out. And no amount of shh-ing, singing, swaying or Tylenol will stop the child.
6:30am: The Princess creeps into my room. Before she can mutter a word, I tell her I have only been asleep an hour and I am not ready to see her face.
6:45am: The Monkey Man enters my room asking if he can play video games "because it's Friday." I tell him no and I don't want see his face.
7:20am: The Mister snuggles up next to me and promptly exclaims, "you stink." I punch him in the gut and tell him I really don't want to see his face.

7:25-7:50: Get kids dressed and fed. Make them clean their room. Make lunches

7:51: Awaken the sleeping demon/angel baby

7:52: Everyone piles into the car

7:57: Pull into parking garage to pay for another day so The Mister's vehicle may remain idle

8:03: Drop The Mister off at the dentist

8:12-8:24: Go through drop-off line at The Monkey Man's school

8:26: Pull into driveway

8:27-8:44: Change and feed baby. Shower and dress myself. Maybe I brushed my hair???

8:51: Pick-up The Mister from the dentist

8:56: Pull into driveway

9:05: Mr. Appraiser Man arrives

9:05-9:35: Schmooze Mr. Appraiser Man

9:40: Pile back in car to drop The Mister off at the train station

9:46: Pull into driveway.

All in the pouring rain.

I don't drink. But many more mornings like this, and I may be driven to it.

(Just teasing daddy. I promise)

Too Good to Be True

We had two days with temperature floating above 60 degrees. We saw patches of green. We laughed. We loved. We frolicked. We believed.

We are again covered in white. Freezing and mourning a sight that has become all too familiar.

All hope is lost.

Our Slice of Heaven

This weekend marked our third annual trip to The Great Wolf Lodge in the Poconos.

Never disappointing, it was a most welcome escape from the hell frozen over life that is our current reality.

I am not sure who has more fun....the kids or the dads. Regardless, there are ample smiles and squeals to go around, making for two go-down-in-history-as-golden days.

Even if the humans above us sounded like wild rabid animals until 2 in the morning.

Even if my children spent $20 on pay-per-view movies when I instructed them to turn on the TV and leave me alone at 6:30 in the am.

Even if I dropped my camera in the water on day one while trying to rescue my drowning Tessa.

Golden.

A Little More Cheese Please

I didn't fall asleep until after 2 last night. Then I woke up at 6. I have a major sleep issue (her name is Tessa). But that is not the point of this post.

I was at least a little relieved when I got the call that school was cancelled today. I just wanted a couple extra hours of sleep. I deserved a couple extra hours of sleep.

Instead, Linley ran into my room screaming, "Mom, there's water everywhere."

Normally, I would allow myself to slowly get out of bed and gingerly work my way to assessing the situation. Because Linley is a drama queen. And can't be trusted. But, two weeks ago the main pipe in the house burst open. No really, open. As in, two pipes, ripped completely apart from one another. While the dishwasher and clothes washer were running. Thus, gushing water everywhere. Inches of it. And, robbing me of $1200. So, I am still a little sensitive to the words "water everywhere." But that is not the point of this post either.

I ran downstairs to see my wall forming boobies.

(and, I don't dust anything higher than my line of sight, obviously. You can judge me)

And my ceiling beam sobbing brown icy tears.

Resulting in a fun game of "how-do-we-keep-Tessa-from-carrying-dirty-bowls-of-water-all-over-the-house." (The answer, lock her and the other two children in their room upstairs).

Oh, and our driveway turned into an ice skating rink overnight. Bet you wish you were cool enough to have one of those.

I realize these pictures suck, but they were taken from inside my house. Because I refuse to step foot outside of this house. Because if it goes down, I am going down with it.

And, am I suppose to shovel that ice? Because that would most certainly end in death.

Cue Radiohead: I don't belong here.

January Sucks

Seriously, this snow is just getting ridiculous.

We keep getting pounded. It is almost comedic. Except it really isn't, and there is simply no where left to put it.

Our driveway is fully shrunken, surrounded by piles of at least 5 feet of white depression.

Getting in and out of my driveway is a freak show. Turning on the roads is a fingers-crossed- please-don't-let-there-be-any-cars-behind-that-8-foot-mountain-of-snow-blocking-my-view experience.

Yesterday Allen stayed home. Because it took his boss 5 hours to drive into work. And he said he could.

We all went outside to build a snowman. Instead we sunk in our spots and declared ourselves stuck. Which prompted a massive snowball fight. That quickly turned into a wrestling match.

Resulting in Linley running into to the house to spare herself. Tessa watching giddily while caught in the crossfire. Ryder trying to keep up while busily observing his father's inappropriate snowball tactics. And me, soaking wet.

Hopefully our neighbors aren't fully concerned that my children are being raised by two bigger children. And surely they were pointing and laughing as they watched Allen bodyslam me into the snow. Twice.

Revenge is sweet fathead. You just wait.

And Ryder, you are not allowed to repeat anything you saw yesterday on your sister's. Or you will be in time out. Promise.

I love you Jimmer!!

New Years Eve

We had a Rocking New Years Eve. Because we are totally rad. And would not settle for anything less. Obviously.

We lit sparklers,

toasted to all our wishes coming true,

played games, counted down with Mr. Clark, and smooched at midnight.

Just as it should be.

Happy 2011.

Brittany, where the heck are you in all these posts??? I'm photographer next time!!

Sledding Success

Two days after Monday's sledding disaster, we made attempt #2 at butt-bruising fun. Minus Allen. He had to go back to work. Sucker.

These smiles: authentic. Ryder had a blast. Linley finally conquered her fears, and by the end of the day, was sledding all by her lonesome.

Even The Chubs got in on some sledding action.

That is what a day of sledding is suppose to look like. Thanks Hill's for letting us tag along, and playing photographer and pseudo father!! You guys rock my socks.